Im sad. Im sad like I was in September over the anniversary but didnt realise then. This is the second time so iv sort of identified it sooner this time.
There is no reason to be sad as my dad was always working over this period, in fact it was one of his 'busy' periods and would work more now than usual.
I can only remember one christmas that he wasnt working but was on leave instead and I dont remember the actual Christmas but a shopping trip we took the week before were he found these amazing purple bear claw slippers - they were huge and fluffy and I remember him coming up to me and my mom to show me what he had found and how much he thought I would love them, his excitment was written all over his face - he loked like a little boy. Exactly how my brother looks now over chritsmas time!! He wasnt physically around but he love this time of the year so much. Its hard to explain but im trying not to cry right now!!

We were at my mom for tea and cake last night for my baby sisters birthday. She turned 16 yesterday and was spoilt rotten by all her friends. Im so happy for her. For the last 3 years she has been so super sick over her birthday that she couldnt finish school each of those years.

We spent some time discussing Christmas plans and holiday plans and stuff - we went round and round and eventually landed back in the beggining with just buying gifts as we normally do.
this will be the first year in 3 years that we have money to have a proper christmas. Last year we went to the MIL and FIL for the whole december and it totally sucked!!! The only redeeming point was to be at the sea!
This year my SIL and Mom have unanimously decided that we should eat at a restuarant instead of at home. My sister in laws reason is becouse my sisters fight too much and I always complain about the clean up. This coming from someone who is yet to get off her ass and actually make a drink in either my home or my mothers home without being asked and i do mean almost NEVER. I can understand that my sisters get mad at us. And as far as the cleaning and brining of food its the same I think everyone should contibute but even a simple dinner can be done and they dont even bring a cold drink for good ness sake!! My mothers excuse is better she says she will feel trapped at our house becouse of my dad and it will make her too sad - up till she said that i was going to argue but I cant argue with that I just dont agree with it. Im just not there for some reason.
Anyway so thats what we are going to do so let the shopping commence and the search for a nice place to have christmas lunch!!
I cant wait for next year!