Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Fathers Day 2014

Happy fathers day to the special fathers in your lives!

We don't really celebrate fathers day in our home - we (me and the kids that is) made Liam breakfast and the kids gave him their cards.

We will go do some shopping later and then this afternoon Liam will go to his larping event. Luckily its just down the road so he should be home in time for supper.

The kids and I will play games or watch a movie - not sure yet and tomorrow we will go friends for a brai (BBQ)

Yesterday Liam worked so I took the kids to hockey and then we tried to go to the library but it was closed so we drove down to the funiture shop to look at beds for Nika - her bed is a loan bed friend a friend so it goes back this coming week sometime.  And then we spent the afternoon at a friend drinking coffee and chatting a bit.

I am so grateful and happy to be home on the weekend and public holiday again.  As I explained to a friend yesterday, I am not sure why but I am struggling to feel anything at the moment.  My new job is a little overwhelming but I now ill get used to it soon, and I am trying to just over come the winter and everything else I think but its weird to not  really feel anything...

Im not going to worry about this too much though. Or at least I will try.

Friday, June 6, 2014

What a week!!!!

So that was a week .... and while I sit outside what used to be a favourite restuarant waiting for the kids bus to arrive I'm leaning against my car door listening to Tuks fm on volume 20 feeling the base pulse of sisters of mercy temple of love, panic at the disco and Puddle of mud she hates me  letting the music and the base wash away the horrible vibes of this week and the last 5 months!

Exhausted and relieved and excited (but trying not to overwhelm the feelings of excitement)
I cant believe this week has happened...and I am glad that its over

Gabriel is enjoying his new school and has already made friends.

I was dismissed with immediate effect today

I also got a new job -no weekends and no Shifts!!

All in all not happy about how this all happened but its over and I am looking forward to a new week!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Yet another one of THOSE weeks!

So this week has been super fun!! An emotional roller coaster of epic proportions.

On Monday we finalised the meeting with the educational psychologist at Nikas school were we had taken Gabriel for his full week of assessments and class time.  So the day for Feedback was to be Thursday.
Monday was also the day my manager started once again to treat me like the lowest piece of dirt on the floor publicly berating me and generally saying things about me behind my back along the lines of how useless I am.

Tuesday oh Tuesday oh how I hate thee...
Tuesday morning meeting starts at 8 and needless to say was another start to how useless and inefficient I am and then graduated into how i can get a warning for being slow and incompetent and how I ignored certain stock (a giant sofa) and so was negligent AND performing an act of Fraud.
This graduated into several comments of how the person I work for basically does my job for me (he doesn't) and how he always goes the extra mile (he doesn't)
Later in the day there was an argument regarding petty cash and how it had been used and I had (once again) been inefficient in getting more (I was unaware we could do this more than 2 a month anyway) leading to me being so furious but still left 30 minutes after my shift was finished.

On Wednesday Nikas class Psychologist (different to the one we would see with Gabriel) emailed me to asked if we could come see her on Thursday as well as there were a few things she needed to discuss with us regarding Dominique. Warning Bells went ringing in my head!!!
Wednesday was also the day I discovered a severely large amount of cash missing from my till.
I doubled checked it with another staff member who does the same job as me - as is the way we are meant to. We doubled checked all the cash drops and all the receipted items on the bank statements and then we recounted it - I then once again left 30 minutes late and got hubby and went back to work - took an hour in the traffic so i could double check my self again - still missing the cash. Left work at almost 7.30 completely shaken and had a complete meltdown in the car on the way home - so glad i didn't have to drive.

Thursday... 7.30 AM meeting with the schools head of psychology and admissions - Fiiiinaly!! (no fault of the new school though)
She gave us the full report for Occupational and Speech Therapy as well as the class teachers assessment and the remedial teachers assessment - NOT GOOD.  He is 3 years behind in several areas of speech and written language and has a severe reading problem - so is dyslexic as well as having the muscle eye issue that we picked up at the eye specialist (not the optometrist we have been taking him to for the past 3 years mind you) So now he will have an intense OT ans speech therapy as well as support from his teacher who is afraid he may have to repeat grade two due to the large delays  in several areas - they are astounded that his other school did not pick this up (grade one reports gave him 7s for the subjects that he clearly is delayed beyond grade 1 level!!! And yes we will be taking this up with the department of Education once he is settled in the new school.
To be told that he could start today was simply a joy to our ears (and to his I think as he was a bit sad yesterday but generally very excited about the whole idea of going to a school were his only comment on the entire process was that his teacher didn't shout at him - not even once - the sweet sweet boy - my heart broke when he told me this last week) today will be fun day to start too as the fire and paramedic department are visiting the foundation phase kids (and the boy does want to be a fireman paramedic policeman so yay for him ) and they are wearing civvies for takkie tax day. His sister is super happy to have him in her school too!! The relieve is palpable in all of us regarding this are of our lives.

Nika's issue is a little too sensitive for the interwebs although she is fine and nothing has happened to her specifically we will have to start more of 'the talk' birds and bees type conversations ASAP which honestly I was naive in thinking wouldn't need to happen for another couple of years - she is only 6 after all! so off to the library I go!!

Ok so were was??? Ok so we are now on Saturday...mmmm ok so that was Thursday all good and dandy - spent the afternoon with the kids getting Gabriel ready for his new school and just chilling with them, talking to a friend who is studying HR law asking her advise about my work 'issue' and sorting that out in my head as to what the heck I was going to do, realised that I enjoy spending time with kids and wishing I was a more patient mother in the past (but realising that you cant just be negative like that anyway you just have to move forward...

Friday morning, After talking to the hubby we decided I would contact our HR department first thing (after figuring out if there is someone who can get into the till box or has another key)

Spoke to HR then spoke to my manageress and then the Head Sales manager from head office came out and so she told him right away as well. To say everything went pear shaped is an understatement...
We went from calm to degrading to calm to questioning to being told to leave the office until he could thing straight to then have all my cash ups looked at and questioned.
He left about an hour after this all began and my manageress took me and another girl I work with into her office to count all the money I had in my till (I could see the hand over process right in front of me but not being discussed) They tried to make me sign an acknowledgment of debt which I refused, requesting an investigation into who stole the money as I understood I was negligent but I did not steal it.  She got extremely agitated and asked me what I expected her to do - I told her, all I thought she should do was investigate at the very least, I had admited to gross negligence but surely someone who could blatantly open a cash box and take such a HUGE amount of money from someones  till was a major problem for the company - if they could do that what else could they be taking??
She decided we should 'search the till are' she got snarky and generally sarcastic while we 'searched' the drawers and my till.

After that the rest of the afternoon was pretty standard - except that my petty cash had been taken away - all the paper work as well.  Then at about 3.30 she kept asking me if I had cashed up and went on and on about it, being so sweet about needing to get me home on time... this NEVER happens anyway...

i also got an 'URGENT' call from hubby saying the kids were missing - as in he could not find them...ANYWHERE!!!

I still had to take care of the cash up so once that was done I had to take it to her and she called the other girl in again and handed me paperwork to sign saying due to the fact that I'm never going to sign the acknowledgment of debt she has paperwork from HR to suspend me and have a hearing on Wednesday.  At this point I just wanted to get home and figure out what the hell happened to my kids!!

My manager walked me to my desk and told me to pack up all my personal belongings and she had me escorted - from the shopping centre - with Mall security herself and one of the store room staff - to my car and out the centre itself 'so the could get the key card back' in plain language - the hearing on Wednesday is just for show really....

While they were adamant they did not think it was me who stole the money they made virtually no attempt to figure out who did or how...I asked them to poly graph me and she refused.

My children on the other hand walked almost 5 kilometres home past a location that is notorious for people and children going missing... they were approached by two women who wanted to 'take them to their home and take care of them' two women who even got out there car to try make the kids get into the car - two women who were not scared away by another man who was walking asking them to please leave my kids alone.  Only detered by another women stopping her car and chasing them away! this other women tried to phone me but eventually got hold of Liam who had rushed to the school to see if they had stayed on the bus for some reason ... she dropped them of at our house which was locked.

i am grateful to God and all his angels for protecting my kids yesterday afternoon when I couldn't... I am grateful for him sending someone they felt they could trust - that was truly trustworthy to take them home and get hold of us to tell us they were safe and I am grateful for their father not killing them when he got home!!

This week has been the worst week in all my life - I nearly lost both my kids!! and I have pretty much lost my job in what is the worst set of circumstances in the history of my career - a career that doesn't have so much as a written warning in it...

All I can do is pray that this has all been for a reason that is beyond my understanding but truly worth the heartache and anxiety. And hope and pray I have strength to get through the next week and come out on the other side wiser and happier and hopefully by a miracle - employed at a new company!!

For anyone still following this - Gabriel really enjoyed his first day at his new school, when I asked him how the day was he gave the thumbs up signal so we are all very relieved about that!!

Sorry for the manicness of this post. Its been the worst kind of 'one of thoose weeks'!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Apologies and. missed opportunities

So ... First up - I'm so sorry you must think I am horrible .... I. Just found all the comments on all my blog posts that I swear have not come through till now! Thank you so much for all your comments and offers of prayer and thoughts and love - today of all days I really really need it! Love back to all of you and your families too - so happy to read your posts. And see the growth and changes happening - it gives. Me hope!
That is to OTR Girl and Em - you two  and also Phillip who pops by now and aain (I think)
Anyway I am alive - I had this awsome post plotted in my head for 1 May hver get round to being super busy in every way possible and now I have gone again done a full 180... the more things change the more they stay the e tey say...
But ys I a bggin from my Black b s apologies for isane ping a pssible sing errors but I annot actually see what  typing -the oys  pomise ill  back to xplain - csorry hope is not to d :-D

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Muddled Up

So I have a quick minute available and decided I really needed to get my thoughts onto paper (or whatever right ;-) )
So thing are going at their normal staggering pace - my new job is the ultimate nightmare complete with feelings of being 19 all over again with crazy hours little pay and a demented crazy person for a boss... seems like I just have no luck with working for actual business but have not learnt that lesson yet nor can I find anything that I am actually good enough at to do for myself that would bring enough income in - so just your typical double edged sword methinks!!

On the home front my demented brother is still gung ho to sell our house and if you have followed me here for a while you will know the back story of why and how this is possible so im not going to repeat it again.
After a shocker that wasnt really a shocker considering how we know he can be in terms of fairness in January we have totally lost interest in this house - not organising a new lawn mower or weed eater for one along with a gardener leaving our garden a literal jungle and my veggie patch an overgrown tomatoe and basil feast for the multitude of snails.
We have been accumulating boxes in order to make the move...when it eventually happens, happen with a slightly better success rate - although if I look at the boxes and everything else in the house I dont think its making any difference - in the last 8 years we have accumulated even more STUFF which I cant seem to get rid.  We are such weirdo hoarders!!!

We had an offer in on a lovely little house down the road from us - a small cottage really but on a flat square piece of land, in a managable amount of space.  I did the worst thing possible - i started to make plans and dream of how we would live in this house - and then the banks came back with;- a totally unfavourable offer that we could not reach and so we had to decline the offer and lose the house.  :-(
i have been very sad since then...Liam is obviously his optimistic self and thank God for that - he is working 2 jobs his day job and freelancing to get in extra money at the moment for our expenses and looking for places to live amoungst everything else - the man is a saint!!

On kids school front - Gabriel has had a nightmare start to 2014, including falling behind in class - going backward in reading writting phonics site words and pretty much anything to do with English.  He was being bullied again (by the same crowd of boys from last year) Getting into detention for being disruptive in class as well as struggling with class mates by over correcting and getting them all into trouble all the time.
I met with his teach after only a few weeks of school, with her complaining that he seemed to not be taking his meds (although I know he is taking them) behaving completely spaced out or disruptive and not knowing what is going on most of the time, falling behind and being ostracised by his peer group.

We have taken him to yet another Educational Psychologist who has given us the same response as everyone else he has ever seen - ADHD with word finding problems etc but no real definite diagnosis.  She has asked us to take him to have an EEG done so we have that appointment next week as well as an Eye movement test set as one of his eyes has suddenly decided it will not follow (making reading difficult as well)
We also are in the process of making an appointment with admissions at Dominiques school so that we can get him in there - at least then he will get all the therapies recommended by the Educational Psycologist during school as well as smaller classes which may also help.

And last but certainly not least - Dominique has taken to big school like a fish to water!! Her teacher loves her to pieces, everyone knows her from the little kids to the high school kids. She is taking the bus to and from school and has been very grown up about this new step.
She is however still struggling with English and her report - which we got yesterday - was a below average result which we are a bit surprised about.  We will see the teacher next term (in two weeks time) for parents evening so we can discuss this with her.  She has also been selected for Horse Therapy to aid self confidence and body movement which will also take place next term during school time. She is so excited about this she was bubbling over yesterday!!

So that is life as it is at the moment - crazy busy insane.....All i want is a holiday or time to sleep (which is not really 'me'.)  I cant stop eating - its a comfort thing I know.  And my biggest wish right now is just to have some finality on something - anything...
I am hoping that we will have Gabriel sorted out in the first few weeks of next term so that he is settled and hopefully happier  - That school is so much better or at least our experience of them so far has been much more positive than with Gabriels school.
Then Liam and I have decided that we need to have made a decision about living arrangments by the end of this month so that we can start moving forward - this living in limbo thing is for the dogs and is affecting our ability to focus and that is a huge problem.
As per usual I am once again looking for another job... so ja that is that.

I am finding it very hard to look at books, magazines, pinterest, blogs or anything that shows nice things or design ideas when it is virtually impossible to improve anything in that part of our life either from lack of finances or lack of our own home in which to do it. the negativity toward this house is not a very nice feeling and we all hate being home when we are home which is already very seldom for me becouse of work.
I am honestly tired ALL THE TIME and stressed out beyond belief.

We visited a lovely farm comunity over the weekend were the owner has cows that they are breeding for meat and a hydroponic veggie garden that I cannot get our of my mind!!!

Thank you for the vent!! (or pseudo vent)

Sunday, January 5, 2014

2014 - and Im a little scared

So here I am trying again to see if  my blackberry will  post  on my sad lonely blog - sorry for leaving for so long, but we all know what the internet is Country ia very strange thing
We a looking at more permanent home internet solutions - but Ja nee!
Hope 2014 is treating you well so far - im off to do more sorting and leaning ad ring to smething to wear to work tomorrow - last days of holiday really suck :-(

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Keep on keeping on...

So I finally comandeered the husbands laptop - my previous semi cryptic not completly explained in full post was written on my Blackberry which for some reason does not allow me to scroll down so Im limited to a teeny tiny couple of paragraphs...

Anyhoo - it took the insurance/builders to build my mothers house again in only 6 weeks from start to finish, they have moved in and are currenly looking at getting a few things to finish of the house - for instance additional shelving tv cabinets etc.
They were blessed with new clothes beds, fridges and pretty much all necesseties but obviously there was a whole lot of stuff that wasnt replaced and cant be replaced...we go through the motions of not remembering these things or to try not to talk about it too much, it is a bit hard to be honest.

Back on the ranch we have moved our son back to his old school.  We also found out that he has been accepted to the primary school we wantedhim to go to so we will be saving a bit f money on school fees next year. He will also be able to do cricket, swimming, judo tennis and hockey - he will be a very happy boy!!

On the job front the whole 'closer to home but less money' thing didnt work out. Im working on the business my brother and I started doing a lift service for kids in an around the area. 
Im still looking for a job so we will see what happens in the next few months!!

Its the baby girls 5th birthday next week - I.CANT.BELIVE.SHE.IS.FIVE.ALREADY- FREAKING OUT!!!!

Its 15 weeks till the end of the year - I cant wait for 2012 to end - this year has just been to hard!